I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
