just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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