he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
