Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
