small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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