Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
