I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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