i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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