These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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