i don't like sucking hair
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
