Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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