I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
