Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
