are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Green mimosas i think yes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
