I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
