i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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