Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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