2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
