He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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