im drinking this country out of the recession.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
