What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
