You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
