So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
