some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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