Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
