But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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