Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just forgot I was standing up.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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