We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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