This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
