I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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