I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
