Small penises have feelings too.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
