I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
