I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
