i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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