Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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