I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
