bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
