would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
