we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
