If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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