Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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