Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
