So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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