eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
