worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
