i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
