it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
