Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
