i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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